We are born to have feelings and emotions. Each person has a different emotional capacity compared to others, we will go through the spectrum of emotions and from the good and bad with the view to be who we are.

Every emotion has a reaction we all can read the situation differently and wrongly from the intended. As the world is evolving and appearing to be more accepting and more rational we still have clusters were we have no equality or acceptance. The tweet that is going around the world is #nofilter, #weareorlando. Orlando has seen the worst terrorist shooting in the USA since 9/11. A one man wrecking crew to disrupt and damage the world we all know, some accept and some hate but it’s the world we live in. it wasn’t just an attack on the USA it was an attack on the Gay community, every single gay person man, female or those who have not decided, were reminded we still have many more steps to go before we are fully accepted.

Image result for we stand orlando

Minute silences taken all across the world, events were candles were lit hands help balloons released. The community stood together not as a single individual but as one sole community. Pride events have witnessed the atrocity of Orlando and the world united, communities stood together not just those within the gay community but everyone. The man who committed this devastated attack, didn’t like a community because he was embarrassed or ashamed of who he was on the inside turning to destruction. I don’t mention his religion as it was attack on all of mankind no discrimination to gender, religion or race it was an attack either way. We are all entitled to an opinion and belief and there are small sects of extremist views.

“All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.” 
― Harvey Milk

London Pride has taken place and we have seen the acceptance where adverts and companies jumping on to support the community that I belong in.  There were marriage proposals from the police force to the parade.

Then within weeks of this attack the UK took to the biggest referendum in 41 years, the EU referendum where the people of the UK had to vote to stay or leave. The usual press gang happened with propaganda from both sides with the Leave Campaign winning by 52% vs, Remain campaign 48%. People made the decision which we have to respect and come to terms with that the UK will no longer be part of the European Union and we are now in the uncertainty and we have 2 years of renegotiation and decision making including a new leader of the UK to be made. We now begin the new stage of our lives in the UK where we will all learn together what the future will actually hold, is anyone’s guess.

We filter out so much and look at ways to protect ourselves, from the real world. I have been fighting out of the darkness and the Filter has slowly been turned on filtering out the negative wasteland of the destruction. No longer listening to those that should have no control over me anymore. I have begun to be me. The worlds that I broke down as two different realms of consciousness, the psychological world and the physical world they once ran in parallel one controlling the other world.

In recent months, I have begun to be in a relationship with someone I care about. To being signed off of CBT with my doctor in early June. I have finally started to take control of the battle and winning, the main battle I face now is what do I want to do with my life. I know who I am, with my own dreams and goals and the two realms now working in symmetry. I have a wonderful family, great friends, a great support network with friends online and in person. Work has balanced out now and I am in more control than ever before. At the same time control can and will change and I have to roll with those punches.

With this I have achieved many milestones in my recovery, I have a lovely home, a decent job, about to begin a qualification within career path. I am about to face a bigger challenge in the next few weeks with going to Pride! Manchester pride is the one that holds a lot of challenges for me, where I have to face the demons from last year as it will mark the first year since my mental collapse. I will be facing it with my boyfriend, and countless friends, some from last year and some from my wider friend’s network.

Harvey Milk once said,

The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us’es, the us’es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone. 

So if there is a message I have to give, it is that if I’ve found one overriding thing about my personal election, it’s the fact that if a gay person can be elected, it’s a green light. And you and you and you, you have to give people hope….” 

All we can do is hope for a better tomorrow and we will be united!

We are the Brave, Strong , Beautiful, Courageous, Unique , Vibrant & Proud!

We are the RAINBOW


One comment

  1. Sue · June 26, 2016

    There has been a lot of upheaval in the world recently, with such awful negative outcomes. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. People are coming together with understanding and acceptance. It is so very reassuring to see how far you have come and to see you develop and bloom in your personal and work life. Yes there is still one big hurdle for you to face, but your personal circumstances have change dramatically and happily. I am so very proud of how far you have come and developing. Well done and I thank your friends for being there for you and with you. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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